RSABI Share their Story. Charities of the Month, February 2021

The name and some of the particulars have been amended to maintain confidentiality.

Bob was struggling since the loss of his wife. He had no motivation to keep going on the farm. His son had called RSABI after he noticed the state of the farm and the house. He got his Dad’s permission for us to call.

We visited Bob on his own. He admitted he was struggling with his wife’s death and had fallen behind with the paperwork that she used to do. The house was cold and Bob was in a low mood. He was overwhelmed with grief and felt there was so much to do, and he wasn’t doing any of it. He hadn’t talked to his children as he didn’t want them to know he wasn’t coping. We chatted about the farm and how he wanted his future to be and he admitted he did not want to spend the next 20 years farming now that his wife wasn’t here. He also admitted he wasn’t sleeping. Talked about seeing to his GP but he wasn’t keen to do that. Talked about the business and options he may have for that going forward. Talked about his wife and the chatted about life since she had died. Looked at what needed done and broke it down into small chunks which he felt more able to deal with.

We called Bob daily for the next couple of weeks to make sure he was okay and if he was managing to get some things done. We organised a business review to look at options for the farm to allow him more time for himself. Talked to the Land Matching service to see what opportunities were available too. Organised a qualified counsellor to call him to talk about his grief and he found that really helpful.

We had a meeting with the business consultant and Bob and he is to think about his next steps now that he has options. We call every month now just to make sure he is doing ok and he is still seeing the counsellor. He has said he doesn’t know where he would be if we hadn’t been in touch and although he still misses his wife he has started to look at the future a bit more positively.

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